Monday, May 3, 2010

My type of people for customers

I happen to believe there aren't bad people in this world.

There are maybe many ill people who appear as rude. Ilness easily makes the negative prevail.

There are also a lot of, well, silly people out there. People who just do not know how little they know.

Granted, I might be one of them.

And finally, there are people who may escape both of the above classifications and who I still can't get along with.

I simply call them "incompatible".

It's because despite my best efforts - and sometimes even mutual best efforts - we simply can't get along.

Over time, I had developed a sense on when I'm compatible with someone and in still a little more time I was able to distill that to a simple list of requirements.

For the sake of avoiding the waste each other's time, here's the current state of that list, in no particular order:

  • If you think everyone's trying to squeeze and cheat you, you are most certainly not my customer
  • If by 2010 you have not yet bought anything on eBay, you are not my customer
  • If you know one particular component that needs to be replaced on your board and ask me for the discounted price to replace that component for you (over courier service) you are not my customer
  • If you need to wait until your next paycheck to get enough money to send in something for repair you are not my customer
  • If you have an AOL email account you are not my customer
  • If you bought this broken TV with the idea that you could fix it and save you are not my customer 
  • If you need to ask your wife if you can send in something for repair you are not my customer

This list is incomplete, but I realize it may sound offending to someone. I had to apologize in advance.

I may be ill, badly educated or simply incompatible.

In one last effort to calm anyone who may have somehow felt offended I will add that:

  • If you are top notch scientist, world sports champion, M&A attorney or media star you are not my customer

  • If 8 out of 10 men turn after you on the street you are not my customer either

As you can see I know what I can and what I can't wish for.

So please stop calling...if Justin Timberlake can't fix a stupid TV how are you expecting him to fix YOU?!


Post a Comment